Quartile rating: 6/10 · 1 rating
Disgraced pro football quarterback Paul Crewe lands in a Texas federal penitentiary, where manipulative Warden Hazen recruits him to advise the institution's football team of prison guards. Crewe suggests a tune-up game which lands him quarterbacking a crew of inmates in a game against the guards. Aided by incarcerated ex-NFL coach and player Nate Scarborough, Crewe and his team must overcome not only the bloodthirstiness of the opposition, but also the corrupt warden trying to fix the game against them.
The 2005 remake of The Longest Yard is a serviceable but thoroughly formulaic sports comedy that adds little to the 1974 original. Adam Sandler's casting as Crewe is divisive and his performance feels one-note, while the supporting cast (Chris Rock, Burt Reynolds in a meta supporting role) is uneven. Visually it's flat and workmanlike — standard early-2000s comedy cinematography with no distinctive style. As a remake of a well-known film hitting every expected beat, Novelty is very low. The ending delivers the crowd-pleasing payoff the genre demands, which works on its own terms even if predictable.